Excitement and surprises

Well…things are now chugging along nicely IVF wise. I sent deposit last week and all my results are back and now over with Team Miracle. Im yet to hear back from them re deposit and treatment plan but it cant be long now. There has been a 5 day holiday over there that only ended yesterday so i suppose that could explain why I’ve not heard anything. So once again, i have to be patient!!! Im not though and I’m so so desperate to be in treatment with next AF and with only 20 odd days to go, I’m getting a bit anxious!

I have read on my forum that doing a private cycle can negate NHS entitlement, but i cant find anything within my CCG that would back that up so I’m not going to worry about it too much, and hopefully we wont need the NHS cycle as Team Miracle will give us our take home rainbow baby!

Ive also been researching embryo glue and assisted hatching as although I’ve heard of them, thanks Babycentre (my forum), I’ve not actually had any experience of them as my NHS clinic don’t offer them. Embryo glue isn’t actually glue, thats just a clever ploy, its actually the medium the embryos are cultured in, its got additional nutrients that encourage implantation. I had visions of the embryo been attached to a catheter and then a blob of glue being put on the embryo….no such luck!!!

Assisted hatching is an interesting concept too. The idea is that some embryos have trouble hatching out of their shell as it may be too tough etc, much like a chick hatching from an egg and struggling, least thats how i see it! So with assisted hatching, the shell is pierced on around day 3 of embryo development so the embryo has an easy exit site. I am slightly concerned this may damage the embryo so will be asking for more info from Team Miracle but if it helps get my THB, I’m going with it!

So theres the excitement, now for the surprises…

Since March, I’ve been very wary of showing pictures of Milo to anyone, partly because hubby has a hard time with it but mostly because i thought he might frighten people. I didn’t think people would want to see a baby who is forever sleeping, plus the resolution on my phone makes him look a lot more purple/blue than i remember. In the last month or so i did show some people at work who were all very nice about it, and said he was beautiful, which he was, and told me i was worried for nothing, yet the worry continued. Until Sunday.

I went to see a friend who I’ve known since i was about 5, we went to the same schools and have always kept in touch, even if its only twice or three times a year! In all honesty i haven’t seen her since having Milo, as i wanted to fix everything, by being pregnant, the next time i saw her, but that hasn’t worked out. So about 2 weeks ago i had a dream that i went to see her and we both had bumps, both pregnant with our second together. It was surreal but i thought to myself, i bet she is.

A week ago, whilst i was out to lunch, i got a message from her, she is indeed preggers….weird, but hasn’t had the best time of it. I wont go into details, its not my story to tell but it made me realise it was high time i went round and saw how she was. Which I did on Sunday. So we chatted about her pregnancy, about my plans for IVF and then we came round to Milo. I wanted her to see the pics so handed over my phone….
Her little boy was with us and he also had a look at the picture and exclaimed ‘oh a baby’! No tears, no fear, no running away, all the things i imagined him to do. He just saw a baby, like my Mum has been trying to convince me everyone does, just a baby.

They say out of the mouth of babes the truth is heard, and it could not be more true, all my fears and insecurities just melted away at his nonchalant reaction, he was actually more interested in the picture of a stuffed rabbit that came with our moses basket. Bless him!

Its amazing how 3 little words can change your world, but they did.

Xxx

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