Anxiety at bay, for now…

Anxiety at bay, for now…

So after the initial excitement of seeing a baby, with a heartbeat, in the right place, had worn off, I started to get anxious. I had no idea what the treatment plan was, id been sent away with one scan booked for March and wasn’t sure what sort of scan this was or whether it was the only other scan I’d be receiving as it was booked for when I’ll be around 19 weeks.

I turned to my fantastic bereavement team again for support. I fired off a lengthy email and the next day they replied apologising that i was left feeling confused and anxious with a promise to sort everything out.

Within 48hrs i had a booking in appointment, nuchal scan appointment, 16 week foetal cardio echo scan, and 20 week foetal cardio echo scan booked. I couldn’t be happier, so much so that I’m writing to the bigwigs at the hospital to praise the fantastic efforts of the bereavement midwives, there are only 2 of them and they are run off their feet but not once was i made to feel i was bothering them nor was i left more than 2 hours before hearing from them. Ive also heard from my consultants secretary and the consultant herself apologised via email for my confusion. Wow!

So I’m next back at the hospital in 2 weeks for my nuchal/12 week scan followed by booking in appointment, where ill get my notes and this pregnancy will feel real and official! Whoop!!

My weigh in this morning shows i have now put a stone on since getting back from Cyprus! I no longer have a thigh gap….thank god as I’ve never liked it! I have a very rounded tummy now, which looks bump like rather than fat I’m pleased to say!


Here i am on Saturday at 10 weeks and 3 days

The vivid dreams are still going strong, I’ve been to Cancun this week in the worlds greatest hotel but also had a massive falling out with hubby who decided he didn’t love me and that he wasn’t interested….thank god its all just my imagination as he is nothing but attentive, attending to all housework and my demands for food and drink!

Speaking of food and drink…I’m addicted to milk at the moment and all food in general, although i do go through phases, at the moment I’m very into sour sweets like Tangfastic and fizzy cola lances, as well as liquorice, scones with clotted cream and Tic Tacs….so still not wanting healthy stuff but I’m drinking smoothies to at least get some fruit and veg down me!!!

Im currently in the process of weaning myself of oestrogen and progesterone which im ever so grateful for, although i will be on blood thinning injections for another 37 days….ouch! My poor tummy is so bruised, but its all worth it and I’m not complaining, honest!

Ive been asked if we are disappointed its not twins over the last week and i can honestly say I’m not, a singleton pregnancy will mean less risk to me and baby and as long as GJB (Greedy Jelly Baby) is healthy there really is nothing else that matters! We can always decide to cycle again in future, or adopt, if we want a sibling.

This pregnancy seems to be dragging to me, mostly because I’m still so so tired! I thought i might be out of the woods with that one at the weekend as i felt amazing on Saturday, even had the energy to drive the hour’s journey to my Mum’s, something I’ve not felt up to since my BFP! We had a lovely day, she had got me some maternity stuff in the sales, so i tried that on, did my nails, and Mum’s, and presented her with the scan picture. Then we had tea with my in laws at my favourite restaurant and gave them a copy of the scan picture too, i felt great! Then Sunday came around and i could barely move!! I was exhausted again! Still, only 3 and a bit weeks until that magical second trimester!
The other reason i feel it is dragging is because, I’ve done all this before!!!! I want to jump to 21 weeks and have a healthy baby to look forward to, but i know i must ‘cook’ this one too and i really shouldn’t be wishing away my pregnancy. Im so excited for flutters and movements, and hopefully, with it being my second pregnancy (in a year) i should feel them much earlier than last time!

Ive managed to hear GJB on the doppler twice already, which is very reassuring. Im sure the heartbeat sounds different to Milo’s which I’m taking is a good thing considering his problems, i just hope I’m right and this baby has a healthy heart!!!

Ill sign off now and go prepare some lunch…

Love, Little Miss PMA xxx


3 thoughts on “Anxiety at bay, for now…

  1. Wow, glad the bereavement team got everything lined up for you so quickly and that you have an official plan now! I know things seem to be dragging on and on for you, but I can’t believe you’re ten weeks already.

    Liked by 1 person

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