Anxiety sucks…

Today i am not me. Today i am anxious. 

I cannot leave the house….the thought fills me with dread, i dont believe anything bad will happen to me or my family but i KNOW i cannot cope with the outside world.

It sucks, i have things to do, i wanted to have my eyebrows threaded and pick up a few bits from Boots for the holiday.

It took me a while to recognise what i was feeling, i knew i was on edge when i woke up but it has developed into anxiety. Even writing about it is making me shakey. I can feel my heartbeat quicken and the sense of fear is increasing.

Problem is, tomorrow, i HAVE to go out. I have to see my Mum and Grandma in leeds, thursday i HAVE to see my GP to renew my sick note and take some clothes back.

My fur babies are in the garden, chasing insects and seem to be enjoying themselves, but i cant even manage the garden today.

I do not want to be crippled by this, its happened before, back in 2005/6, i didnt leave our apartment for weeks at a time back then, when i did i had a full blown panic attack.

I recognise this beast for what it is, and i hope its just a one day thing, and that it will slink off back to its lair later leaving me in peace and able to function. Even though i recognise it and have made the decision to stay indoors, im still an anxious mess. 

Love, Little Miss PMA xxx

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18 thoughts on “Anxiety sucks…

  1. So sorry you are having a hard day today. It is good for you to be able to recognise how you feel and therefore hopefully let it slink away again. Thinking of you and hoping you manage to get out tomorrow. One minute at a time xxx

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Oh I know that feeling. When I was in the throws of full on anxiety and panic attacks at one point in my life a goid friend gave me the book Power Over Panic. It was amazing for me. I highly recommend it. Hope it eases for you soon. Lots of stupid annoying breathing exercises and chamomile tea is my prescription. You tube has a bunch of guided meditation if you need someone to talk you through (I do).

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Hi Toni

    Here’s hoping tomorrow brings a better day for you and that the anxiety disappears or at least lessens. Would your gp be able to help if you mention it when you go? Still thinkin of you lots, and although that doesn’t make things easier or better, know that there are lots of people who care for you and your DH.

    Lots of love xxx

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Its ok to.withdraw.. its ok to br anxious.. its om to be angry… but take the smallest steps and try to regain yourself… nobody can help you but you… start doing little things for yourself that make you happy… im sure at this time its the toughest thing to do… but maybe just having a coffee in your garden watching the furs play may help… or just spending time smilling at your rainbow garden…

    You need to give yourself that time… not going out is fine…but as long as you are spending time with yourself.. regaining yourself.. then it will all just feel better…

    Lots of strength your way Toni… I think of you everyday and pray this too shall pass for you….

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Ahhh thanks so much lovely. I got out today and had a fab day in the sun, had my nails done, had a coffee so im feeling pretty upbeat today, which is nice.

      I do have to just take time to regain myself now and i know ill get through this.

      Liked by 1 person

  5. Dearest LM PMA, I can relate to your feelings of anxiety after the hurt and pain of losing a precious life. Love and time are the greatest healers of all. I’ve thought of you often this past week and have been sending prayers, good energy and lots of love your way. And, hooray for coffee! So glad you ended up having a nice day.

    Liked by 1 person

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