We have been asked that question twice since being here…
Its the first thing we are asked upon revealing how long we have been married, usually after gasps and “you dont look old enough to have been married that long”
Its the natural thing to ask. My answer always comes out naturally “not yet” and the guilt hits before ive even uttered the first syllable…but how else to answer the strangers question? With the truth?
These people that have asked us in the last week, are one half of a young couple, on honeymoon or a couples holiday, how else do i answer without shattering their dreams of children, to them a given?
The lie comes so easily, too easily. Not only am i betraying my children but also, my unspoken mission that infertility, TFMRs and Miscarriages not be a taboo subject.
Im conflicted, im happy to tell my story, i want my children to be rembered by more than us, but the reality is, its a conversation stopper, the person in reciept of my answer will feel ive shared too much, wont know where to look, how to respond…maybe because itll make them rethink their own given?
So i lie and carry on as though the question has no impact, even though the guilt of my lie echoes through the week…
Love, Little Miss PMA xxx