Today i had to call the GP to extend my sick note. The conversation went a little like this…
‘Id like to extend my sick note please
How long have you had off?
Well whats your plan? The longer you wait the harder it will be to return.
Im really struggling still and havent started counselling yet. An urgent referral has been put in
When and who to?
End of May and family services
You could be waiting months for a referral
I know but combined with anxiety im not ready yet
What do you do
Admin, but at the moment i wouldnt be able to concentrate, manage tasks/workload
Ok well lets increase the antidepressants and see where we go from there’
I got another month….
Since then ive basically had a melt down. Full on panic. I love my job and i do want to go back, but i cant make it round tesco never mind spend 7 hours at work.
I went to the surgery on friday for some tests, was there maybe 40 minutes and by the time i got out i couldnt remember my way home (i did manage to get home but was really confused on the route). This is not nornal behaviour, considering i live 5 mins from the surgery.
My reaction to the above conversation is also not normal. Im shaking, i cant breathe, im playing out worst case scenarios in my mind, i feel sick, im sweating. I called my bereavement team who have emailed me and stopped me spiralling but im way up there still. The bereavement team feel the referral should come good in next couple of weeks amd will also speak to my GP. Im very lucky to have their support.
Its funny how a perfectly innocent conversation can cause absolute panic. I wonder how long it will last….
Love, Little Miss PMA xxx