I made my counsellor cry…twice

So its been a whirlwind since we got back to the UK.

I dont think i realised how emotionally hard the trip to Cyprus had been but since getting home we have been exhausted. Im still quite tired if im honest but ive picked up a chest infection so thats added to everything.

Im all booked to go back in mid June.

Im so excited to go back and get my embies back where they belong but of course time is dragging.

I have now stopped my contraceptive pill so we are awaiting AF (period) to arrive so i can start the FET (frozen embryo transfer) prep. Fingers crossed itll arrive Saturday but just to ensure it does ive booked a weekend at Alton Towers.

We go down Friday to stay in the enchanted forest and then we will spend Saturday in the park. Ive also booked us into a new restaurant where your food arrives via a ‘rollercoaster’ so that should be pretty awesome.

This is to help pass the time but also so Me and Mr Me have some quality time together as he wont be on the return trip to Cyprus. We also learnt during our year off that quality time is so important to stop us drifting apart so we intend to keep up these weekend breaks to stay connected. Will be looking at country manors more than theme parks in the future, all being well.

I made a firm friend in Cyprus and we have been keeping in touch which is lovely. I now have so many IVF friends which in a way is amazing as the bond is so strong but its also a little surreal given how taboo the whole subject can be. Its amazing to have these ‘real life’ friends rather than online friends, i mean we are spread out all over the country but its nice to Whatsapp someone who gets it rather than awaiting a reply on a forum!

I visited my counsellor the week after i came home and as i told the story i could see her getting emotional and it was her tears that made me realise that we had had quite a tough time and that it was most definitely a rollercoaster of emotions but my response is always the same ‘that’s IVF, its not simple or straightforward’ and in terms of highlighting that, this delayed cycle is ideal evidence, but again, i was told to stop thinking of others!
I really got her going when i explained Dr F is timing my pregnancy so i give birth in February but i knew that would be an emotional moment as even i got emotional when she told me and i dont do emosh!

I have made a point of seeing my friends before i go back and this last weekend i went to Junkyard Golf with our friends and it was awesome. Whole course is indeed made of junk and you can have a lil drink to make it even more fun…plus i WON! Which never happens, mustve been the booze.

Im now back on my clean living diet as caffeine and alcohol can affect lining thickness and ive had trouble with lining on FETs in the past. The clinic arent a bit worried but i am going to be doing some extras just to help it along…raspberry leaf tea to improve lining thickness, brazil nuts for the selenium, and i was hoping to have some acupuntucture but neither therapist i contacted have got in touch so that may not happen! 

I have to admit that im having the occasional flash panic about being pregnant again but i quickly remind myself i actually need that BFP before i worry about anything!!! And im able to stop it rather than having it negative spiral out of control. Counselling is definitely paying off.

Love, Little Miss PMA xxx

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