I wish i could cry…

I wish i could cry…

Im not a crier, never have been really. Getting angry makes me cry but i dont tend to cry with sadness or happiness.

But you know how they say a good cry is cathartic? I feel its what i need right now.
Ive never really cried over the losses, maybe a 10 minute cry hear or there but i never sat and sobbed for hours. It just never came over me. With Milo i cried mostly before he was born, Millie, maybe once the day after.

I cant really articulate how i feel right now but i feel a good cry would help. Ive never really got upset over our situation, choosing instead to plow on regardless, but when i tell others my story they tear up almost straight away.

Im not one for feeling sorry for myself though, probably because it seems a bit selfish in my warped mind. Gotta love a scarring childhood experience eh? I was told i was selfish at 15 and it really stuck with me. Ive done everything i can since then to not be selfish. I see weird things as being selfish now and put everyone ahead of myself. Its something my counsellor gets annoyed at me for fairly often.

Anyway, i wish i could cry, let out this feeling, whatever it is. Its weighing heavy on me but i cant articulate it to work through it.

I. Just. Want. To. Cry.

Love, Little Miss PMA xxx

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3 thoughts on “I wish i could cry…

  1. If I was nearer I’d come stamp on your foot and get you started. Wish I could do something… So much has happened this past few years, so much in the time I’ve known you as a true living breathing human, and your strength astounds me and always will. However, being vulnerable isn’t weakness or selfish in any way. It’s a part of how we’re made up.
    Perhaps a read of a really emotional book will get the tap running? You don’t have to cry over your own sadness – any will do if it means you get some release.
    Let me know if I can do anything my beautiful friend. It pains me to know you’re struggling xxxxxxx

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I wish I had something to help you let those feelings out. I’m unfortunately, the complete opposite. I have what I call “OTD” or “over-active tear ducts” and cry no matter what I’m feeling. Sending you love and hugs!

    Liked by 1 person

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