Im not a crier, never have been really. Getting angry makes me cry but i dont tend to cry with sadness or happiness.
But you know how they say a good cry is cathartic? I feel its what i need right now.
Ive never really cried over the losses, maybe a 10 minute cry hear or there but i never sat and sobbed for hours. It just never came over me. With Milo i cried mostly before he was born, Millie, maybe once the day after.
I cant really articulate how i feel right now but i feel a good cry would help. Ive never really got upset over our situation, choosing instead to plow on regardless, but when i tell others my story they tear up almost straight away.
Im not one for feeling sorry for myself though, probably because it seems a bit selfish in my warped mind. Gotta love a scarring childhood experience eh? I was told i was selfish at 15 and it really stuck with me. Ive done everything i can since then to not be selfish. I see weird things as being selfish now and put everyone ahead of myself. Its something my counsellor gets annoyed at me for fairly often.
Anyway, i wish i could cry, let out this feeling, whatever it is. Its weighing heavy on me but i cant articulate it to work through it.
I. Just. Want. To. Cry.
Love, Little Miss PMA xxx