My Baby Loss Stories

My Baby Loss Stories

Yesterday i asked you to share your story, here are both of mine…

Milo’s story – after 3.5yrs ttc and 4 rounds of IVF we got our 1st BFP. Ecstatic wasnt the word. We, like everyone, immediately started planning for our future. I bought what i wanted when i wanted. The 12 week scan was textbook although he was naughty and showed his bottom a lot,  there was nothing to worry about. We had cracked it, infertility hadnt beaten us we had beaten it. The pregnancy flew by, i had the occasional worry it was ‘too easy’ but i pushed them to the back of mind. The 20 week scan came around, we didnt want to know the gender. I commented on how clear the scan was, i could see the heart. The sonographer was quiet. Too quiet. Then she said ‘im sorry i think there is something very wrong with babys heart’. Ushered into a small room and then fast tracked to a same day appointment. Baby had a heart condition incompatible with life (HLHS). 4 days later i signed consent to end the pregnancy. On 13th March 2014, Milo was born sleeping, 36 hours after my 1st medication to induce labour. He fought until 2 hours before he was born.
Millie’s story – A year after the BFP that gave us Milo, our 6th IVF cycle brought us a new pregnancy. This time we were more cautious, a BFP didnt mean a baby and nor did a heartbeat. At 12 weeks her nuchal measurement was too high. 4 weeks of tests and scans later showed she was ok. We started to relax. We went to the baby show and i went a bit mad buying things. Clear fetal heart scan at 16 weeks and perfect anomaly and heart scans at 20 weeks. We were home free. On 26th March 2015 i had backache, at 4pm i started contracting and at 7.48pm our perfect girl was born sleeping. We lost her to unknown infection

These are very ‘slimmed down’. For more detailed information, please read ‘the story of Milo’ and from ‘I dont know how or when’ onwards for Millie.

Love, Little Miss PMA xxx

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11 thoughts on “My Baby Loss Stories

  1. I’m so sorry for your losses. I just experienced my first loss at 22 weeks we had decided to terminate as our daughter had an incompatible with life diagnosis too. its only been a couple months and I find myself looking for blogs to see how people move on from such heartbreak.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Im so so sorry. I found writing a good outlet. I wish there were a magic trick but its just time sadly and allowing yourself to feel how you feel. Keep talking to your partner too. You learn to live with the pain, but it doesnt go away. I went through some very dark times but, in time, the days become brighter. I cannot recommend bereavement counselling highly enough.
      Massive massive hugs of support coming your way xxx

      Like

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