Anxiety girl is back…

Anxiety girl is back…

Woke up at 6am and straight away wanted to feel baby wriggle. Laid there for an hour willing s/he to move. 

Nothing.

When Mr Me got up i asked for a glass of milk as the cold normally sets off movement.

Nothing.

Anxiety is at level 8. I told Mr Me and he asked if baby normally moves at that time? I said i didnt know as im normally asleep. Mr Me explained it could be normal then. Good point.

I sometimes feel something when applying my make up.

Nothing.

I sometimes feel her in the car.

Nothing.

I usually feel her around mid morning.

Nothing.

By 11.30 i had drank cold Coca Cola, laid on the floor of the office and put something cold on my bump.

Nothing.

The sensible side of me knows im panicking because my anxiety is high, because its telling me something is wrong. But anxiety is winning.

Whilst on the floor i felt baby under my skin, so i prod and poke loads thinking baby would turn round and give me a right wallop.

Nothing.

At this point my anxiety tells me baby is floating to the top because the heart has stopped, just like a fish in a tank thats died. I email my midwife just to get it off my chest.

I eat lunch and drink more Coke.

Was that a flutter or was it wind from the fizzy drink? 

At 3.15 i decide to ring the hospital, line is busy, i try again, still busy. Repeat x5, busy.

At 3.35 the baby FINALLY wakes up/comes out of hiding/hears my pleas and goes mad for a good 10 minutes.

Panic subsiding.

Go home, not a peep in the car, sit on the sofa. 

Faint flutters turn into flips and harder pokes and prods.

Baby is fine. Mummy is exhausted with worry.

Going to be a LONG week

Love, Little Miss PMA xxx

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