#mummyfails 

#mummyfails 

Little T is officially a person!! We registered him on Thursday. It was a fairly momentous day. I never thought id have a legal tiny human with a birth certificate and everything. An actual real birth certificate. A legally recognised child. Wow.

Proud Mummy Moment

The same day that it was made legal, the day i officially became a Mummy, was also the same day as my 1st #mummyfail

After registering him, we had lunch, including little T, we then laid flowers at the Manchester memorial. Very sobering at the best of times but with a newborn it was something else. I had goosebumps. The whole city is grieving as one. The pain was palpable but so was the sense of community and determination that we will not be beaten

St Ann’s Square, Manchester

As we made our way back to the car, Little T was getting hungry, and i hadnt packed another bottle!!!!!! We had to go straight to the Prolonged Jaundice Clinic so the poor guy screamed for about an hour. I have never felt so awful. What a shit parent. Ive learnt from it and ill never leave the house with 1 bottle again but my word! It was just the worst feeling.

Not only that but i cut his little finger when clipping his nails the other day!!! The boy has really sharp nails and scratches himself, and me, a lot but from now on ill only be filing them down.

The smallest of things can really knock you. Being referred to the Jaundice Clinic made me feel i wasnt capable of looking after him properly. Even though he is still Jaundice, the Nurse Practitinor was happy that it would resolve on its own, still though, i couldnt get it cleared in the 2 weeks specified so #mummyfail

I couldnt breastfeed #mummyfail

I cut his finger #mummyfail

I didnt pack enough food #mummyfail

Not only am i making rookie mistakes but im also missing being pregnant which i feel guilty about. I waited so long to be a Mummy and now i am, i miss being pregnant.

However, the NCT girls who have also given birth, miss their bumps too, so im not alone or weird.

Even though it was tough at the end and my anxiety was up throughout, i miss feeling him move, i miss the way i looked, i miss the feeling that i was doing something amazing. Now im just flabby, with no clothes that fit!!!! But my belly button bar did go back in with ease the other day which pleased me no end!! 

Despite all my #mummyfails, yesterday Little T and i flew solo as Mr Me went back to work. We survived. And with smiles on our faces. We didnt get out but i did organise a drawer

I applied for child benefit and kept the boy alive so im classing it as a #mummywin 

That face!!!

I missed Mr Me terribly but i was proud that we got on well without him. I managed a shower, getting dressed and made up, lunch, sterilising and making up bottles. Ok so everything took an hour and a half longer than normal (when Mr Me is around and since Little T’s birth) but it got done and that is a #mummywin

The feelings are coming. I stare at him and marvel that i made him, i study every part of his face, admire every expression and movement. I would do anything to protect him. I miss him when he sleeps.

Its not the ‘rush’ i expected, was told about, instead its a slow creep of emotion that in time will consume my very being. Its not what i was expecting but its more than i ever dreamed it would be.

Love, Little Miss PMA xxx

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6 thoughts on “#mummyfails 

  1. Your ‘fails’ are VERY common – I think it’s the rare mom who doesn’t feel like they are failing at something. I also miss being pregnant, so you are definitely not alone.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Oh #mumlife I ended up cutting both my kids with the clippers. I just gave up on the nails and let them fall off when they are ready haha My mum and partner are always teasing me about how I don’t do it but I’d rather get scratched than have them cut me. You are doing a great job!!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Yep, super common #mommyfails. I also cut A when clipping her nails and we went to a Super Bowl party in the middle of nowhere and I forgot her formula. The closest store was about 45 min away but luckily, one of our friends had just had a baby and was breastfeeding but had gotten formula samples in the mail. They lived nearby so J ran there to get formula. I’ve also left the house with formula but no bottles. That was going to be a longer car trip so luckily I rememebered right before we got out of town.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I forgot his medical records book for his 6 week check…it didnt even enter my head.
      There is now always a bottle of pre made in his changing bag and i always bring more than i need just in case im delayed!!!

      Liked by 1 person

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