This is why not

This is why not

So…

A lady on a facebook group im on, lost her baby girl at 41&2

She did a facebook live describing how it all happened. She was still in shock and she was/is trying to cope so i dont begrudge her for talking about it. I applaud her.

What shes going through is 100 times worse than anything i had to endure, she has to look at the moses basket and pram, knowing her angel wont ever use them.

Awful.

Anyway, im trying to watch her live, i get to the bit just before she gives birth…and i crumble. We already know shes gonna be stillborn so i should be ok. I wanna be strong for this lady.

But i break…

Im back in the room where Milo was diagnosed with HLHS, im giving birth, im losing Millie, im contracting…

I’m full of anxiety, I’m tense, i wanna be strong but I’m not. I’m a mess.

And that’s why i can’t have another. I can’t go through it again.

Love, Little Miss PMA xxx

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