And now we know…

Today i had my appointment with the specialist MS doctor.

After much discussion of symptoms, and a few physical tests, it was decided i do have MS but dont present in a traditional way. Most people get worse through pregnancy as the immune system is lowered, whereas i am symptomless in pregnancy. My symptoms very much come and go, which the Dr thinks seems to indicaye my issues seem to resolve themselves after a period of time.

Im to go back in 3 months, i had blood tests today to check im compatible with one of the four drugs suggested for future treatment, and ill have another MRI before seeing the doctor again. He also wants me to have high dose steroids to tide me over whilst an MDT (multidisciplinary team meeting) is carried out to decide the best course of treatment.

Im happy its MS. I was dreading them saying they didnt know what it is, and having to start again.

Its obvious there are more inflammation spots on my brain since the MRI 5 years ago.

That i can manage.

But! The drugs arent ideal if i want to get pregnant again. I’d need to stop treatment for 12m before trying again. Plus, is it even fair? Do i put all my energy into being healthy for the one i have, or risk my health for a possible sibling?

My head says, stick with one and be the best you can be, but my heart is gutted. I’d like a sibling in time, but can i justify it? Will i be well enough to have 2? Will the break from meds make me experience more and more extensive symptoms

Its hit me harder than i thought tbh, i don’t know what to do with myself. I wanna run away but also know I’m so lucky to have my friends/family and son.

I just feel a bit meh.

Love, Little Miss PMA xxx

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