Tag: holiday

A date with L

A date with L

My appointment with the MS consultant was actually today, not tomorrow, thank god i checked my diary…

I’m going to be treated with the Lemtrada, the drug that sounds horrific.

It could stabilise me for up to 12 years though.

I will be able to try getting pregnant again in a couple of years.

I’ll likely start treatment in November/December as i have a trip to Seville booked early November.

The drug will essentially wipe out my immune system, ill need lots of post treatment meds, antibiotics and anti virals for example, for a fair while after the 5 day stint in hospital.

Ill be very fatigued during and for a few weeks after the treatment as it’ll break down my T and B cells, and all the chemicals from inside the cells will enter my blood stream

I will be able to have my 4 weekly blood tests locally which is a small bonus.

I can still have an alcoholic drink, but not too much before blood tests as it’ll mess with my enzyme levels.

Ill probably need another MRI before commencing treatment and have to keep my Dr up to date with any relapses.

So, there it is. Next 4 years of my life planned out, probably a rubbish Christmas, at risk of picking up everything due to a suppressed immune system. Excellent.

Been advised to avoid forums, won’t be an issue as i just want to deal with what comes, as it comes.

Going to be difficult, but when is life easy?

At least i can enjoy Cyprus and Seville and theres a plan in place, and i do like a plan!!!

Oh, and i need to stop vaping before the treatment!! #myonlyvice

Love, Little Miss PMA xxx

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Reconciliation

Reconciliation

How do you reconcile being broody versus having MS?

How do you know its not just jealousy? There have been a fair few pregnancy announcements of late.

How do you know when the time is right to try again?

My head’s a mess. I really do want another baby. Sensible me thinks i should wait, my heart doesn’t think it can take it.

If i start MS meds, i have to be med free for a year before doing IVF again.

The longing for another pregnancy and baby is overwhelming at the moment. The idea of waiting another 18 months at least, scares me, the thought of feeling like this for that time is miserable.

I worry i won’t manage with 2, practical stuff i can sort, but the idea of Little T fighting with his sibling scares me.

I worry Little T will be jealous, but i worry he will be lonely.

Its a complete head fcuk.

My main problem is lack of information. I don’t know if i should start meds and then have a break and then IVF, or whether its easier to try again sooner rather than later, then start meds after a potential pregnancy.

I don’t want to waste anyone’s time, the NHS or my consultant (who is sourcing my medication). The problem is, I’m not seeing my consultant again until after we have been to Cyprus, which would be a prime opportunity to do FET (frozen embryo transfer)

Doesn’t help that my body is being weird, namely longer periods and random aches in the uterus area. I think its all in my head to be honest but its just messing with me.

Why does this have to be so hard?!!!!

I’m so back and forth

Love, Little Miss PMA xxx

Cruising

Cruising

Little T is developing so quickly at the moment. He’s now starting to hold the furniture and cruise about. He doesnt stand independently yet but we are not far off.

He also said his first word ‘Cat’. Every time he sees one, regardless of whether its ours, someone else’s or a picture, he says it.

He can also say ‘Daddy’ now too, although he says ‘Cat’ more. He says it all dam day to be honest. He shouted it so much at lunch time the other day, the cat actually came downstairs!!!

He is teething too, molars apparently, and its hard work. He isn’t sleeping before 10pm, and for 2 nights we’ve had to drive to get him down. I was out til 1.30am one night.

That has coincided with me suffering major fatigue. I wake up exhausted and am exhausted all day. Its an MS symptom so hopefully it won’t last, in fact i have felt better today, but during the spell, my patience wore thin and i found Little T’s whining very hard to cope with. Pretty sure i said ‘f**k me, what now’ under my breath about a hundred times over the last few days!

I felt like a terrible parent, ill be honest. I usually find him so easy to cope with, but i wasnt managing. The late nights and early starts and the fatigue, were just too much.

Im glad to say today was easier though.

Little T looking very tired!!!

Having said all that, I’m almost 100% certain i want another baby. Not now, but in a couple of years, I’m not sure its doable as I’ve no idea what the side effects of the MS drugs will be. I’m loathe to read up on it as, to be honest, i don’t wanna know. I’ll deal with it when it happens. At least i can tell my MS doctor in September that another baby is on the cards, unless the side effects make that impossible/unfair to another baby and Little T.

I had my repeat MRI, this time with dye, not so long ago. I had a strange experience during it. It felt like i was rocking back and forth, so much so, i had to check with the technician that i wasn’t, after the scan. My fingers also went numb/tingly, but that happens quite a lot at the moment, so I’m probably experiencing an episode. Pins and needles i can deal with, so long as i don’t start slurring again!

Ive a GP appointment next week as i need to take vitamin D to up my levels, so that’ll be 4 medications a month im taking. Thank you NHS for doing pre paid prescription certificates, they will save me a fortune!!

Im counting the weeks to our Cyprus holiday (8.5 weeks). Im so excited to show off Little T, I’ve had a romper made especially for the visit to our clinic…

Made by https://www.facebook.com/babsandmoo/

I’m looking forward to sun, relaxation (thanks to my Mum and brother coming) and walking around Kyrenia again. I love the place, and it’ll be nice to be able to enjoy the pool, and alcohol, for the entire holiday, as no IVF will be taking place!

Love, Little Miss PMA xxx

Oh my god…he’s one!!!

Oh my god…he’s one!!!

It was Little T’s birthday yesterday!!

We survived a whole year! And what a year its been!

He started crawling 3 weeks ago and is into everything, particularly the cats food and water! The cat is amazed that the small human is now mobile and is very wary of him. Lots of mad dashes past him and spending a lot of time outside!

Little T had his 12m check last week and passed everything with flying colours, except gross motor skills, hes a lazy boy, but im not worried, i didnt walk until i was 18m!

As a treat, we have come away to Majorca. Its our second day and im feeling ok. Monday though, whilst travelling, i was an anxious mess, shaking like a leaf most of the day.

I decided to pay for lounge access at the airport, absolutely the best idea ever. It was so calm, and free food and drink, including booze! Kept us away from the masses! I did take Ts sunscreen through security though, which was promptly taken off us as it was 200mls, doh!

The weather isnt boiling but its nice and i bought ‘The Fox Tan’ to help me tan, cant go home without a tan ha ha!

The hotel is geared up for families so thats a bonus, but when we arrived at 11.30pm Monday night, there was a party atmosphere. Little T even got his groove on!!

So, 1 whole year! Ive been a Mummy for a year and i can honestly say, i love it. Its everything i dreamed and more! Sure, there are days when he whinges all day, or doesnt sleep, and they are HARD but mostly hes the happiest baby on Earth!

Love, Little Miss PMA xxx

Trips

Trips

Since little T arrived, we’ve had 2 ‘staycations’

The first was to forest holidays

We went to Keldy, little T was about 4 months old and still sleeping with us. We had our own hot tub and could explore the forest at leisure. It was really nice to get away, and easier than i thought. We all enjoyed it, once we stopped trying to use the hot tub when little T was asleep!! He kept waking the second we got in, so eventually we brought him onto the veranda in his buggy.

It was a lovely break and we had half decent weather too. Id defo go back, just need to wait for a deal as it’s very expensive, and you know, i have a baby now

We went to centre parcs more recently. To Sherwood Forest. Everyone told me it’d be amazing so i was really looking forward to it. I was thoroughly underwhelmed. It was good. But it wasn’t amazing.

We tried the bikes, both hated em, I had little T in a trailer, it was so wide!!! And Mr Me cannot ride a bike!!

It did snow one of the days, it looked quite pretty that day.

Little T loved the pool despite it being cold in the water. He loved the rubber ring, realising he could enjoy the water and not swim (he has weekly lessons).

We spent the majority of the weekend in various eateries and pubs!

Little T loves a menu!

So, I’d swerve centre parcs for a good few years. Despite the spa being amazing, it just wasn’t for me! And that was in the winter, can’t imagine what summer would be like!!! So i dunno what everyone loves so much, maybe i missed it?!

Love, Little Miss PMA xxx

New Year, No Plan

New Year, No Plan

2018 is around the corner…its the first year in however long that i dont have a project 

Its either been; get pregnant or stay pregnant for so many years.

And now? Now there is no plan.

Its weird but utterly amazing. IVF and loss is exhausting. Its all consuming. This year there will be none of that.

2018 is about making memories…enjoying Little T and rejoicing that IVF isnt on the cards, nor is another loss.

We have 2 holidays booked, so far. Mr Me will despair if i book another break! So ill try not to! 

2018, im ready for you and i hope itll be one of the best

Love, Little Miss PMA xxx

Famous!! 

Famous!! 

This weekend was our 1st trip away as a family. I was super nervous about a 3 hour drive and staying away from home with Little T.

He was a dream, however, and loved all the attention.

We went down to Bristol for a Ruby Wedding anniversary party. Lots of Mr Me’s side of the family were very taken with Little T, who lapped it up!!! 

I barely saw him for hours as he was passed around, and Aunty Sarah wanted to keep him.

Check him out on The Ingham Family vlog

The Ingham Family Vlog

He’s famous! 

Love, Little Miss PMA xxx

Final update from Cyprus!

So yesterday we were told the epic news that a whopping 7 embryos had been frozen. I still cant quite believe it!! Best results we have ever had in 3 fresh cycles. Im over the moon, truly!

The original plan was that i would start preparation for the frozen transfer today but when we got to clinic the plan changed!

Dr F felt that due to my whopping 18 eggs collected that some of my follicles could still be releasing hormones which could jeopardise the success of the cycle. Makes sense really. So we have a new plan…

Im to start the pill today to control my cycle…the reason for this? Well, its all because of March and what it means to me and Mr Me. Its obviously not a cursed month but given I’ve lost 2 babies in March, i kinda wanna avoid it. Now most doctors wouldn’t give a damn about this, but Dr F is incredible. She’s timing my cycle so ill give birth at the end of February. What a woman!!! Im so very grateful to her for this and so many other things.

So ill stay on the pill from today to the 31st May. Stop. Have a bleed approx. 4 days later, and start meds on cycle day 2.

I haven’t got the full protocol yet so im not too sure what im taking when but it’ll be with me soon. I have come away with a bag full of meds today, including the pill, cetrotide (to stop ovulation), estafam (to build my lining), progestan (progesterone to support the upcoming pregnancy), prednisone (a steroid to stop my immune system attacking the embies) and monodox (doxycyline an antibiotic to stop infection).

Despite many protests, I’ve also paid my freezing costs and meds cost and apparently im now paid up! They are so relaxed about payment with me, but being a Brit, i like to pay for services as they happen.

I had made a load of enquiries about villas etc for the earlier dates but luckily didn’t book anything, although i will have to rearrange my holiday at work as i gave my manager notice of the earlier dates yesterday! Oops! Sorry!

We are currently sat in our favourite coffee bar where im enjoying my last coffee. I need to stop again to ensure my lining grows, stimulants aren’t good for that.

So thats it, fly home tonight after an amazing 10 day rollercoaster! Im so ready to see my fur babies and watch the last 2 episodes of Game of Thrones…we have being trying so hard to avoid spoilers!

Love, Little Miss PMA xxx

We’re here (ow my ovaries)

We’re here (ow my ovaries)

We arrived safe n sound late last night. Our apartment is massive and amazing, we love the complex and the pool and can see ourselves holidaying here in years to come.

Woke up mega early this morning so we had a stroll to the shop for essentials…ham, bread, cheese, milk…obvisouly

We then wandered down to the harbour where we had a lovely drink by the sea!

Afterwards we came back to the pool for a little sunbathe with high spf as the meds are making me very susceptible to the sun.

Im at clinic at 12.30pm tomorrow and i hope im ready to trigger because im getting pretty uncomfortable now!

So fingers crossed for large follicles tomorrow and a nice lining.

Love, Little Miss PMA xxx

Ive been around the world, and this is what i learnt…

Ive been around the world, and this is what i learnt…

Hello from Perth airport! We are about to embark on the long journey back to the UK. We had an amazing 2 weeks but we are looking forward to being home with the fur babies.

Being away gave both Me and Mr Me time to think, digest and refresh.

You may remember that my anxiety was at an all time high, and that continued for about 3 days after arriving but im happy to report im now down to a 3, which for me and my busy head, is about normal.

I was feeling as though me and Mr Me had drifted apart, something of my own doing, or rather the anxiety made me feel that way. I felt lost at sea, alone and unsure where to turn. We are back!!!!! Its us against the world, i feel steady and ready (and excited) to tackle our future endeavours. 

Australia was on our list for possible places to live in the future. Having been here we have realised its not for us. Perth is very very laid back, and pretty small when compared to Manchester, UK. I missed the convenience of having everything on our doorstep. I never thought id say this but i also didnt like being that far away from home and family. Its amazing place to visit though and i will miss the well mannered people and awesome transport system!! Not to mention the weather.

It was AMAZING to see L, she is so happy, settled and relaxed. Perth suits her down to the ground and she has landed herself an amazing job and has a wonderful support system. Its hard to believe i wont see her tonight, having a drink in our favourite bar and we will definitley come back again to see her. Shes already picked up an Australian twang and has adopted a lot of their word use. I spent a long time reminding her how we Brits say the word ‘no’ but to no avail!!! Love you L xxx

Being away always gives us chance to reflect, however the last 2 holidays have been out of necessity to allow us to grieve so reflecting had a sad twinge to it. Not this time! We realised how happy we both are with our lives at home. 

Now for the best news…..i found Little Miss PMA!! She had apparantly flitted off to Australia, however i have her firmly by the hand now and wont be letting go.

We are FINALLY excited to go for IVF in May, not only excited, but confident that this time next year we will have our precious take home baby. Im itching to get going, luckily i have things i can be doing each month that will bring us closer to our trip, hidden infections testing, pre testing, endo scratch being a few examples.

We both want to get going, we no longer dread the idea of pregnancy. Yeah it wont all be rainbows and unicorns but this is our time. This is our time, this is our time down here!!!  

See you on the other side

Love, Little Miss PMA xxx