Its my birthday on Saturday, which means today is the start of Baby Loss Awareness Week. Itll forever more be a bittersweet week for me.
Theres a saying ‘you dont know what youve got til its gone’ which is a great saying that applies to most situations.
Except when you lose babies before having a live one to take home.
The grief is devastating, but you dont really know what you missed out on, until you take home a baby.
I love little T so so much, and to watch him learn and grow gives me so much pleasure. More and more i think about Milo and Millie and how they wouldve developed.
Would their eyes have started blue and changed to a rich brown?
Would they be dying to sit up?
What wouldve made them laugh? Or cry?
Would they have slept through by now?
I now understand what i lost, what couldve been. Its pretty painful all over again when i think of all the cuddles i missed out on, l the smiles i didnt see. It never goes away, the pain just lessens in severity.
Loss, at any stage, is just horrific. No parent should ever have to lose a child. More so though, no parent should feel they cant talk about their loss.
In todays society, its still a taboo to mention miscarriage, early or late. Talking about stillborn babies makes people uncomfortable. As such, bereaved parents are made to feel they must just get over it or forget it.
How do you just forget a person? Regardless of gestation, that baby was a person to his/her parents! Should we just forget when a grandparent/parent/aunt/uncle/brother or sister die? No!
So why is it different when the child is in utero? Put simply, it isnt.
So if you or someone you know loses a baby, talk to them about the loss. Dont worry about upsetting them, they are already heartbroken.
You are already likely to know someone who has suffered a loss as it happens to 1 in 4 pregnancies.
All life is precious no matter how fleeting.
Love, Little Miss PMA xxx